Currently Listening A Collision By David Crowder Band wholly yours see related

why is it?

Why is it when i'm doubting my self i can't rely on god to bring me up...

Why is it no body tells me to be myself...they always say i need to try and fix my flaws...sometimes flaws can't be fixed! i wish someone would like me for me and my flaws not telling me well maybe you need to change this...maybe this is why...or something...gosh someday i just wish people would be like...i love despite all of that...and your flaws are what makes you molly...i had that...i had this person that "loved" me because of it but i'm not attracted to him...i'm not...everyone says he's so nice and piolite but i don't like him! i just don't...it's so weird! because heres a really great guy and i don't like him...i don't know why but yea...it's so weird...and i hate it...by golly i hate its weird...and this is what i want in guys yet i seem not to like them when they have these quiltys...whats wrong with me...it's so weird! goodness...well yep guess i'm going to get going...

Molly

holy crap!!!

omgosh!

i love this website because i can just vent on it...but wow...it's amazing what has been going on in my life right now...goodness...well to start off...last night i got the call the my four month old nephew is in the hospital for pnemonia and dehydration so i was still shocked about that and just gosh so worried but i stayed with heather and the gang because i didn't want to deal with all this stress! i really can't take it anymore but anyways the past month no the past couple of weeks God as really been showing me that i have TONS of unforgiveness...so so so much and i used to push my anger aside and all that stuff and just wanted to not deal with it...but really all that does is come back later and bites you in the butt! and now that i look back on it i ask myself why couldn't i just deal with it then...would of been a lot easier...and so see then by a very wise person i was told that before i can forgive someone and move on i need to sit in the pain....dwell in it and realize that it's there...that what happened really did happen and feel the emotions intended to feel weather i like it or not...that really doesn't sound appealing and trust me it's hard to be at that place where you want to feel that or at least content with your circumstances...anyways so that's what molly talkington is doing right now...realizing all the pain in her life and all the stuff/ppl she needs to forgive before I can move on...it's amazing...i never thought things from my child hood could be so affecting in my life (wow amazing grace just came on...perfect) and yea...God is amazing...i dk what your circumstances with god are right now are but hey give it a try...people think that once they give their life to Christ that it will be all easier...and no more pain...yea right...now where in the bible does it say that! honestly! if anything it's so much harder! in a different way but the great thing about it is...you get to lean on God and have someone else take it away...and just now i'm starting to realize that....okay so on a happier note...

I was talking with this guy and he said he wanted to date me but i was like why? lol then he listed some reasons and the sweetest thing that i've ever heard someone say to me was..."when you look into someones eyes...you look into their soul" and that just made me feel all fuzzy inside but i turned him down (jently ) but it was still really cute... and yea...gosh...i just love typing this ...because it's just like journaling but online...and yea...so i'm just going to continue to go on and on lol...so Brandon (13), my nephew is here...he got her like last week and i've seen and spent time with him for a little bit but i don't want him to leave...he leaves tomorrow... it's so amazing tho because when i got home from Darrin's my mom was sleeping and me and my brother aren't really talking but brandon is staying in his room i opened the door and said in a happy voice...hey Brandon and he was so surprised to see me he was like, HEY MOLLY! i love it tho because everytime i'm around him i feel so welcomed...like on tuesday...he came over and me and him walked to the park and we had a very good talk...he's mature about things at his age...and it's so easy to talk to him which is weird but he's just so amazing and i love him...and his dad (my brother) is like super rich, so Brandon is too you know and me and my family are far from rich or well off but when he comes over i'm not embarrised about it which is weird...he just excepts us for who we are and i love him...and yea...well it's like 12:21am so i should go to bed because i have church tomorrow..if i decide to go lol! love ya all

Molly

I wrote this about my Nephew Aedan...he's such a great blessing in this world and this is hwo i thought i would express this to him...here it goes...

Aedan
When you were born

I could of sworn

That i didn't know I could love this much

But when our hands first touched

My heart began to change.

Because of that one day

My love for you always grown

and it's hard not to show

how much you mean to me...

And i thank god for you, the greatest blessing i've received.

Our lifes were hecked

Our family was falling apart

but as soon as we heard

that there was a new beating heart

our family began to start

to come together again

Just because you're life began...

I wanted to thank you ,

for putting my heart and family at amends

and showing me i can love again...

*please don't steal my work..

unwanted...

I'm sitting here in despare...

No one cares...

I'm feeling lonely...

as this day passes by slowly...

I want to feel wanted and need

and all i feel like is a deadly disease...

People say things to me that hurt me...it's like they're taking a knife to my hearts and just won't stop stabbing me...

And i don't really know where to go or what to do...

When will i ever feel wanted or needed...

When will the emotional scars start to heal...

My heart is numbed to the world

When will my hearts start to feel?

um bored...

Well hum...idk really what to say...but yea...i'm pretty bored but also cranky...i'm pretty okay though...just i've been thinking...it's not like anyone is reading this or nothing because i don't have many friend on xanga but yea...there's things that are just going through my mind right now...and idk...i really yea okay here goes the story...up here my character has changed...i've had to adapted to very different personalities...like mainly sarcasim...and i'm a very sensitive person but still i'm not getting along with most of the staff people...mainly only 3 people...jessica...megan...and diania...and yea...but i've tryed really hard to get along with the other people but it's almost next to impossible for me to get along with them...they're just jerks and I didn't come up here to be made fun of...or to argue with people everyday...I came up here to serve God and earn a little extra money for school clothes and to get away for home...but not to be treated like this...so i don't know i'm praying about it but i might quite...idk but what ever God wants me to do...I'll do it so yep just praying...

Molls